DAY 2: Cricket 11/”Dear John Parker”

Pimp My Lent 2012/Day 2


The Prompt: 

From Diana Sheehan…

You know the way you feel when the fireflies glimmer?

The way you feel when overnight your hips grow slimmer?
-Ogden Nash


The Product:

A new Cricket letter.  PML newbies, you might want to read last year’s Cricket stories in Pimp My Lent to catch up on the life and times of Cricket and her family. 


Dear John Parker,

I am glad you got back to San Antonio okay to see yoru dad in time before he shipped out again. You should come back here and see us soon or in October when it is not 110 degrees in Oklahoma so we can do something F-U-N instead of just watching TV and laying on our stumochs! But that was fun, too. I like the “EMERGENCY!” reruns the best I think it would be really exciting to be an EMERGENCY!-type person and help people who are hurt except that blod and guts makes me want to heave-ho heave-ho heave-ho. (Ha, ha, ha)

All the fireflies died. It does not matter a bit if they are given food and water because they just don’t live too long anyway in this world, which is what my grandad says. I think I looked it up too, so it is not my fault or yours. I am sad to tell you because I know you are already a bunch sad about your mom and dad divorceing. But they did die and I didn’t want you to worry about them because they’re all dead already so let that slide off your mind, okay? Next time you are here Dad says we should go and collect jitterbugs because they are better at living than fireflies, although he said that they move around a lot more because they are jittery, which is why they call them that. I don’t know if he is telling the truth or lying maybe, because Mom said “AHEM” real loud and gave him a look, which usually means knock it off Ben and stop harrassing the kids!

I think the music from the 1960s is the best too!! My mom made us a CD with a bunch of songs from the Beetles and the Stones and my favorite one is the one that is not by them, but a lady whose name I don’t know who but it goes “I got a brand new pair of roller skates you got a brand new key and I think that we should get together and try them out to see!” I love it! It makes me feel like bouncing on the car seat which is okay with Mom she says as long as the car is not in drive and we are not screaming or hitting, bouncing in the seat is okay.

Savannah has a big pumpknot on her head because when she was dancing with us she was left alone for two seconds by me and Douglas (who dad says dances like Peewee Herman mixedwith some guy from long ago who is named Fred Astare) and jumped off the couch and BAM into the coffeee table but Dad says it is NOT our fault because Savannah is the problem child who is most likley to end up in the emergency room the most. I have been once for a fever thing, but I did not have to stay. Lexi got her tonsils out when she was four years old because she was sick all the time with strepp throat. My brother has never been, but he’s seen enough doctors in regular time in offices so maybe that’s why.

We are dancing every day in the living room with Dad. It is a goofy time and is enjoyed by all except Mom who says “Knock yourself out!” and then leaves when Dad turns up the music real loud. She does not mean for us to knock ourselves out but it is an expression about being real wild and doing silly things very well until you are tired and happy. Mom does not like noise and we make a lot of noise when we start dancing in the living room. It is usually just me and Dad and Douglas, Lexi is too snotty right now and has a bad attitude again. Mom says “Do not bug your sister, Cricket there are not enough hours in the day” but most of the time I am doing NOTHING and Lexi gripes at me and makes a face and goes “Gah! Gah, Cricket! Gah, Mom! Gah!”

Dad is not out of the Army yet, but almost. Mom is real quiet now a lot. Is your mom real quiet when she is scared or worries? Because Mom IS exactly like that! She has to lay down because her mygrains are very painful when they are across her eyes, but she soays “Cricket! Do nto worry! It is just a headache!”

Douglas made cinna mon roles this morning and we were holding them up to our ears and saying things like Princess Leia would say. Douglas can make sixteen things very good, some of them all by himself and some of them not by himself with someone ehlping who is an adult so he does not burn or hurt himself with a knife by slicing off fingers or anything. He can make Campbell’s soup on the stove. He can make cereal, which is no big deal I know, but it’s on his list, so it’s on here.

Here are the other things that Douglas can make:

  1. Jello (all kinds)
  2. Instant pudding!
  3. Spaghetti and sauce
  4. Grilled cheese cut in squares
  5. Salad with carrots and lettuce
  6. Chicken fingers in the oven
  7. Bags of french fries and or tater tots that you bake in the oven
  8. PBJ
  9. Frozen pizza (we like the yellow box brand but I don’t remember the name of it)
  10. Yogurt and cereal with fruit like a kind of pudding but it’s not
  11. Baloney and cheese rolls with a toothpick
  12. Ants on a log
  13. Ants on a log peanut butter
  14. Bagels and hummus my number one favorite!!!


Pool 1 on post where we went is closing!  and they are going to fill it in which I think is just so stupid and unbelieving in kids need to swim! They are building a big inside pool which is going to be fun, but once we’re not Army I don’t think we can use it, and they won’t start beuilding until after we’re out is what my dad says.

I have to go dance now because the music is starrting my dad says I am the shimmy queen. He says he just doesn’t know how to do it but I’ know he’s lying some because come on whould be as old as him and not know what to do to make a shimmy happen? !

Your cousin,





About Vicki Caroline Cheatwood

Writerly. Rebooting. Evolving. Searching for great chicken salad.
This entry was posted in Cricket, Pimp My Lent 2012. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to DAY 2: Cricket 11/”Dear John Parker”

  1. karrianderson says:

    I ❤ Cricket!

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